Shower Gel

my shower gel has written on it
in big letters, the words
“Peaceful and Soothing
Shower Gel”

this seems an odd boast
for a shower gel to make
certainly though it has never
given me a moment’s trouble
if I look miserable when showering
it is tremendously comforting
saying things like “c’mon Ash
remember what a sexy life you lead”
before emitting a little bubble
that makes me go all giddy
and giggle like a toddler

and peaceful?
never have you seen
such a placid temperament
it successfully intervened
in the shampoo/conditioner riots
of two-thousand-nine
it is the Kofi Annan of wash-time
this manner runs in the family it says
its great grandfather shower gel
refused the Vietnam draft
fleeing instead to Canada
to preach peace
and make Canadians clean
and tingly

recently, in a hurry, half-asleep
I picked up, in a supermarket, by mistake
a “Malevolent and Antagonising
Shower Gel”

I now only take baths

©Copyright 2018 Ash Dickinson